Screams of “Yes! Yes Yes!” are magic to the ears of club owners. This is a sign that all is well between consenting adults in far off private rooms or open play spaces. Whether you are new to the lifestyle or enjoying a long history of exploring swingers clubs in Portland like The Velvet Rope, there is one thing that is consistent. There is nothing sexier than vocal, enthusiastic and on-going consent.
One of the biggest misconceptions many from outside of the lifestyle have is the feeling that clubs like ours are a free for all once you walk in the door. This could not be further from the truth as we empower all members to find their voice.
As new members join our community, we coach them to seek and wait for consent at every level of interactions. Consent it not just for sex, but instead starts at the first interaction. This is as simple as asking a new friend if you may join them at a table or sit with them on the smoking deck. We empower all members to not only ask permission but also gracefully take a “no” as the end of the conversation.
In some circles getting the first no simply means trying harder and turning up the charm. This is not the case in an environment based on on-going and enthusiastic consent. In our club setting, the first no is the only no. That is the end of the conversation.
When you are lucky enough to get that first yes, this is the start of an on-going conversation about consent. This means the lovely lady who agrees to have a drink with you did not agree to anything beyond that. The conversation about consent continues before any touching and as activities progress.
Checking in through out any encounter not only creates a fantastic sex-positive culture but also means understanding that each of us has the right to answer with a “no” at any time. This might mean your partner has said yes to kissing but when asked about being more involved has said no.
Again the first no is the end of the conversation. Using on-going and enthusiastic consent makes those moments when all your partner can say is “YES! YES! YES!” even more sexy.